I Remember: 2014

First Christmas for family of four

Iris loves unwrapping.

Taiwanese food for xmas.

I got purple horse earrings.

smiles

First few weeks: eat, burp, sleep, shit, cry, eat, burp, sleep, shit, cry, repeat...

From six weeks, eat, burp, shit, smile, sleep, cry. Repeat.

Nothing compares to being pooped on, at 5am, in bed, after a feed, well, more like a snack in your case, and poop soaked through to bed sheet, and having to change both clothes, yours n mine, as well as bedding....

As well as you gave the biggest smile, after all. At 548am. Looking innocent as ever. And happy, that you accomplished so much.

You always smile before you go into sleep

You always smile before you go into sleep,

Sometimes even giggles.

cutest ever x

Tane

Born 24 10 2014
Animal sign, Horse
Baby boy of mommy, looks incredibly alike...

Another song of my soul,

I love you. Tane

Is it so wrong...

Is it so wrong,
To not sleep, keeping a lamp on after almost an hour of feeding at 4am, taking pictures of you, a baby, keeping you up with the

Click, clicks

And spent another hours editing, colleging, writing captions, recording them, recording you, my baby,

Tell me I'm so awful, that knowing you're my last baby, i just held u, like my last reign of hope, my most meaningful humanity...

Reign over me.

30 10 2014

Last year or so..........

Time,

time is cruel,

I barely started,

There you are, nearly 2.

Sahara

Chinese born and raised, my adult life began in 2002 in the southern most place of earth, a small South Island town of New Zealand Invercargill; studied and worked, 9 years flash by pretty fast. Early 2011 I joined my husband, whom I met 7 years ago during a working summer holidays, in a beautiful orchard picking cherries. We married in Las Vegas, now we started a new chapter in Sydney. More of a kiwi at heart, I love and miss NZ dearly, and struggle my time here as all my dear friends have been a huge part of me. My little family also consist of our 15 years old cat Sushi, adopted her by chance while we were in Wellington, she had been through a lot traumas already then, abandoned by her original owners, her second owner Heike who became one of my best friend had tried her best to provide her a good living, but a few times she had accidentally got lost and almost died from starvation, she was rescued but it made my friend realize Sushi will be better off with a family who's not moving a lot. So here our story continues...

Memories

There are many things I wish I don't remember.

A good friend of mine once told me, you have good memory. A decade ago, another best friend of mine also said in Chinese, it's painful to remember so much in detail, especially for people like you and me, who in their nature carry a bit of sadness from our birth.
I remember too much little details.

As scientists tells us, brains cell dies every few seconds, so probably the first theory is right, i repeat my memories too often, or, put it that way: I chose to relive my moments over and over, won't let go.

This blog is to show you some part of me. Not to make you understand me, or make myself understood.

Just plainly, life as it is.
or maybe, i just want to confuse you.

I Remember

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